Have you ever been to one of those escape rooms? The ones you go to, play the game for 45-60 minutes and then get out. The game is usually based on solving some kind of a mystery or a problem, but even if you fail with the given task, you will get out of there when the time is up.
A couple of weeks ago I suggested a member of my family that we really should go and try out an escape room-game. That would be fun for us, I thought. But the reaction I got back from my family member was quite priceless, when he said; "Are you kidding me? You have lived for years in a real life escape room, and now you voluntarily wanna go to one?!"
That was not the reaction I was waiting for, but then I quickly realized he was completely right. Why would I choose to be locked up for an hour, just for the sake of amusement?
That day we chose to do something else, and I might even in the future make the same choice.
If you have lived in a real life situation where you felt mentally and/or physically trapped, I would call that an "Escape Room-mode". It's a dark place where you are constantly over-thinking and solving problems on your own. It's a place where no one can hear you scream, even if you scream as laud as you ever can. It's a place where the tears keep coming until they drown you, and there's just nothing you can do to stop that from happening.
You don't get out of this escape room in 45-60 minutes. Not even close, because it's a place where you can be trapped in for many years. But if you are lucky enough and keep fighting towards the surface, it's possible to escape.
I must admit that I have lived in many escape rooms during the past years gone by, and I hope that I will never be trapped in one again. Ever.
When I have escaped the darkness much more than once, I just wanna stay in the light and let it guide me towards the future and life. I'm not afraid of the dark, but I just don't wanna live there anymore. I refuse to.
And I'm not saying that I would know which way to go and what road to take, but I'm on a path to somewhere and that is enough for me now. I'm not drowning anymore.
There will always be puzzels, riddles, and mysteries to solve in this life, but the best thing right now is that I'm not dealing with them from the escape room anymore. I am where I want to be, and I'm gonna keep fighting to not let anything destroy me ever again. 🖤
"Keep your demons close, but your exorcist even closer".
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