Things seem to roll forward pretty quickly right now, when I look back. I might be more tired than ever, once in a while, but I feel that I'm getting back some of that physical strenght, I once had. The best feeling right now comes out of doing things, I wasn't sure if they ever could be accomplished. I have no idea how much I can do in the future, and that partly scares me too. A year ago I decided not to worry about the future, and not putting any pressure on these thoughts. I just need to wait and see, and work for it.
After everything what has happened, I realized that I was pushing myself away from things I loved. Not being able to work has been hard. It's like been left with nothing, nothing you can do to feel useful. Only an unfunctioning body, and a mind that is getting bored. Everyone needs to feel useful somehow, that's how it works. It's definitely not enough for me to help myself, I really need to be useful for others too, that's all what matters.
My scars are deep, but they will heal. I also realized, that it's better to keep close those things that matters the most. I don't have to punish myself more than I've already gone through. Life is not how I've expected it to be, but it's still a life, and I'm still me. It's still me with the same interests and skills. I just need to convince myself with that fact. The fact, that the life I've already built for me, wasn't for nothing. I just need to keep on building, and believe, that it's gonna be great.
Expect the unexpected, because that's apparently how life works. No matter how incredible your plans are, life has already made bigger ones. The best thing to do, is to ride with it, and see how far you'll make it. I wanna make plans, but I'll never ever take them for granted again.
So what can I say... When life gives you the unexpected, you'll never be ready. But here I am, still me. And in the end, nothing else mattters.
After everything what has happened, I realized that I was pushing myself away from things I loved. Not being able to work has been hard. It's like been left with nothing, nothing you can do to feel useful. Only an unfunctioning body, and a mind that is getting bored. Everyone needs to feel useful somehow, that's how it works. It's definitely not enough for me to help myself, I really need to be useful for others too, that's all what matters.
My scars are deep, but they will heal. I also realized, that it's better to keep close those things that matters the most. I don't have to punish myself more than I've already gone through. Life is not how I've expected it to be, but it's still a life, and I'm still me. It's still me with the same interests and skills. I just need to convince myself with that fact. The fact, that the life I've already built for me, wasn't for nothing. I just need to keep on building, and believe, that it's gonna be great.
Expect the unexpected, because that's apparently how life works. No matter how incredible your plans are, life has already made bigger ones. The best thing to do, is to ride with it, and see how far you'll make it. I wanna make plans, but I'll never ever take them for granted again.
So what can I say... When life gives you the unexpected, you'll never be ready. But here I am, still me. And in the end, nothing else mattters.
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